


Truths Less Universal

by Auntie_Diluvian



Category: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: April Fools' Day, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 17:52:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10518819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auntie_Diluvian/pseuds/Auntie_Diluvian
Summary: Netherfield Park is let at last!





	

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. 

Without having this particular mechanism in mind, a person in such a situation may unwittingly find himself thrown into a society much determined to lay claim to him through marriage. One such artless monster, a Mr. Charles Bingley, having recently let and settled into Netherfield Park one late autumn, had brought with him a distinguished party of monsters from town, including his two sisters, his brother in law Mr. Hurst, the husband of the eldest, and his good friend, Mr. Fitzgerald Darcy, known to those closest to him simply as Jerry.

Mr. Bingley, his sisters, and Mr. Hurst all were happy in their manners and characters, though respectively less so the further removed from Mr. Bingley himself, and found easy conversation where ever they went, as rabbit monsters are wont to do. So it was that the townsfolk of Longbourn and Meryton and indeed the entire surrounding country found themselves quite perplexed at Mr. Bingley’s having such a connection to the last of the party. Once thought to be most a most estimable friendship on account of his good breeding and fortunate situation, it had taken hardly a fortnight for the general good opinion of Mr. Darcy to be completely forfeited, as he had revealed himself to be an arrogant and dismissive sort of man. 

Though many were already incensed with merely the impression of his character, few had opportunity to relay information of any specific offense he had given.

One who did, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, second daughter of the principal family at Longbourn, and a giddy self-proclaimed study of character, did with relish relate to several of her confidantes, how she had been slighted by such a man.

A public assembly had been among the first events at which Mr. Bingley and his company had decided to make an appearance, and a very fine appearance it was. All attendees were quickly enamoured with Mr. Bingley’s earnest charm, he was introduced to every body, and sat down for not a single set. Mrs. Bennet, in particular, was openly delighted to see him distinguish her eldest daughter Jane by standing up with her not once, but twice, and then further with conversation throughout the evening. Jane even found herself to be quite a success among Bingley’s sisters, who declared her to be a very sweet girl and a great potential friend.

It was the subject of Jane that Elizabeth overheard being discussed between Bingley and Darcy while she was obliged to sit down for a set, and though she liked very well the younger blue rabbit's estimation of her, his older companion remained dour and unmoved despite the lively din all about them.

“Oh, come on Jerry, aren't you having fun yet? This is great! There's pretty girls, I'm getting my groove on… You should dance, dude!”

“Meh…” said Mr. Darcy, folding several of his arms across his chest.

“You at least have to admit that Jane Bennet is mega hot.”

“She's alright, I guess,” he sniffed. “But if you ask me, everyone else in this hick town is suuuper lame. I don't get why you even wanted to come out here. It's not like the wi-fi is any good.”

“Aw, you're so negative! You just have to give humans a chance! Hey, what about her sister behind you? She seems cool.”

Darcy’s wide eyes found her, but did not linger longer than it took to form a cursory opinion of her features.

“She looks okay, but nah. There's something wrong with her, obviously. Or else, why isn't she dancing, if it's soooo great?”

Darcy belched.

“Suit yourself, man! I got those happy feet, so you know where I'll be.”

“Lame.”

Elizabeth was all astonishment as the gentlemen, if they could indeed both be called gentlemen, finished their conversation.

She considered herself willing to make a great many allowances before her opinion of a person was fixed, but this slight was not to be borne with the same equanimity as she would afford someone who had bothered to make himself the least bit agreeable. Thus she determined that Mr. Darcy was the worst kind of ridiculous and so she delighted in relaying his exact words to Jane and her intimate friend Miss Charlotte Lucas.

They insisted that Lizzy must not allow such a barb to ruffle her what so ever, and she was determined that it should not but for a mild and temporary blow to her pride, and so the evening was declared a success by all, with Jane (and more vocally, her mother) optimistic and lightly smitten by her new acquaintance in Mr. Bingley, and Lizzy feeling most diverted by the melodrama invited by Mr. Darcy.

The two eldest Bennet sisters, sharing a room, were thus able to converse further about what they had discovered that evening, and even as the candle melted into nothing, Lizzy was delighted to hear that validation in her feelings she had most been wanting from her sister.

“I am surprised at you, Jane. You possess the kind of sweetness that I was half expecting you to admonish me to give the man a second chance. Tell me, do you, my most forgiving sister, really forsake your good opinion of him so?”

“Good heavens, yes!” cried Jane. “Fucking ditch him!”

And so she did, at every opportunity. The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Epilogue: Lizzy marries Col. Fitzwilliam and they have a really chill marriage together.
> 
> Bingley realizes what a Hole Jerry is and stops listening to him and marries Jane, anyway.
> 
> Shit's pretty tough for Lydia once she realizes Wickham's never going to marry her and he leaves her, but years and a little character development later she becomes the protag in a historical romance novel and marries a Duke or some shit against all odds, is reunited with her family who missed her.
> 
> April... fools? I don't really know what all this was about but it's out in the world, now, nothing to be done about that, I suppose.
> 
> I'M BAD AT PRANKS SO I JUST DO BAD THINGS, OK???


End file.
